I Like It Cause I'm White?

As I sit utterly enthralled in the funky break beats flowing through tiny headphones into my ear drums, my body is warm (partially from the three layers I'm wearing) from a certain delicious beverage I am enjoying...coffee. Specifically, I've recently been enjoying cafe au lait, which I learned yesterday is regular coffee and steamed milk, as opposed to a cafe latte, which is espresso and steamed milk. And at a reduced price, comparatively, of about two dollars, the cafe au lait is my now and future drink of choice.

Coffee, why do I love you so?

Is it because you have been enjoyed by men and goats since the 9th century? No.

It is because you are one half of the best relationship in the world, coffee and cigarettes? No (and especially since quitting smoking, again, one week ago, no).

It is because you are sometimes FairTrade certified, making the drinkers of said certified beans feel better about themselves? No.

It is because I am white. Yep, white people like coffee. No if ands or buts about it. And in that vein, I bring you the #1 thing that, apparently, white people *like myself) like, coffee: (courtesy of Stuff White People Like)

There is no doubt that white people love coffee. Yes, it’s true that asians like iced coffee and people of all races enjoy it. But I promise you that the first person at your school to drink coffee was a white person. You could kind of tell they didn’t enjoy it, but they did it anyways until they liked it - like cigarettes. White people all need Starbucks, Second Cup or Coffee Bean. They are also fond of saying “you do NOT want to see me before I get my morning coffee.” White guys will also call it anything but coffee: “rocket fuel,” “java,” “joe,” “black gold,” and so forth. It’s pretty garbage all around.